** CONTENT WARNING **
Every year people come together to raise awareness of how we can create a world where fewer people die by suicide.
It is important to remember that suicide IS preventable, it’s not inevitable.
This World Suicide Prevention Day is focusing on the importance of the language used when talking about suicide, especially when asking someone you’re worried about if they are suicidal.
Starting a conversation
You can help someone by showing that you are there to listen. Examples of this could include:
- Choosing an appropriate time and place for a conversation
- Using open questions
- Listen well e.g. “How’s that making you feel?”
- “How are things, I’ve noticed you don’t seem quite yourself?”
- Avoid giving your view of what’s wrong or what they should do
- Be patient and show you care
- Questions you could ask include:
- Have you thought about ending your life?
- Are you saying that you want to die?
- Are you thinking of ending your life because you want to be dead, or is it because you want the situation, you’re in or the way you feel to stop?
What should people do?
Watch out for changes in behaviour that could mean someone’s having suicidal thoughts – signs that someone might not be ok.
- Speak up to let someone know that there is support available – contact a Samaritan
- Play your part by reaching out to anyone you’re concerned about – supporting someone with suicidal thoughts.
- Remove the stigma and talk about it – finding a way to say it.
Risk Factors
According to Mental Health UK, there is no single reason why people die by suicide and there are a range of factors which may increase a person’s risk such as:
- difficult life events, such as a traumatic childhood or experiencing physical or emotional abuse
- something upsetting or life changing such as a relationship ending or a loved one dying
- misusing drugs or alcohol
- living alone or having little social contact with other people
- having a mental health condition such as depression
- self-harming
- having a physical health condition, especially if this causes chronic pain or serious disability
- problems with work or money
- being a young person
- being a middle-aged man.
Myths vs Facts about suicide
Myth – Talking to someone about suicide could make them more likely to end their life.
FACT – Talking about suicide won’t make someone have worse suicidal thoughts or more likely to harm themselves. Starting a conversation can help with suicide prevention by creating a safe space for them to talk about how they are feeling and used as an opportunity to explore support options.
Myth – If a person is serious about ending their life, they can’t be helped.
FACT – A lot can be done to prevent suicide with timely support.
Myth – If a person is talking about their suicidal thoughts, they won’t act on them.
FACT – Talking about suicide can be a plea for help and therefore it is important that you always take suicidal feelings seriously.
Myth – You have to have a mental illness to think about suicide.
FACT – One in five people have thought about suicide at some point in their life. Not all people who die by suicide have a mental health condition although people living with a mental illness are generally more likely to fee suicidal and make an attempt.
Myth – When someone dies by suicide, they have ‘committed’ a crime.
FACT – Suicide has not been illegal since 1961 in England and Wales. The use of the phrase ‘committed suicide’ is no longer appropriate and can add to the stigma around suicide. Try to avoid using language that causes distress to bereaved family and friends, instead think about phrases such as ‘taken their life’ or ‘died by suicide’.
What to say to someone who may be at risk of suicide
- Let them know that you care and they are not alone
- Empathise – e.g. “I can’t imagine how painful this is for you, but I would like to try and understand”
- Be non-judgemental and don’t criticise or blame them
- Repeat their words back to them in your own words to show you are listening and understand them
- Ask about their reasons for living and dying and listen to their answers – try to explore their reasons for living in more detail
- Encourage them to seek help if they are comfortable to
- Follow up any commitments that you agree to
- Try to get professional help for the person feeling suicidal
- Get support for yourself.